Tuesday, March 31, 2009


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Make your own Countdown Clocks

Drunk Blogging

Way back in the day, I was a wild woman. I could drink anyone under the table and still be able to keep up with the most complicated line dance out there. Today?? 2 jack and diet cokes make me want to spin around and say "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Since I've had James, I haven't been interested in/had the chance to drink on a regular basis. I might have a beverage 2 times a year now.... which makes for a cheap date ;) lol

So I thought I would post some of the random thoughts I had tonight:

the term "swarming leaf gobbler" from James's movie is making me giggle


I should probably make the pizza BEFORE I start drinking. I forgot to take the pizza off the cardboard when I put it on the pizza pan.... ooops!


I wonder if you have to take a pregnancy test before you go on the Biggest Loser.


But then... wouldn't that be sexist unless they made the guys take one too?


I would totally be Biggest Loser Bob's Fag hag, Not Jillian's though... she's mean and she scares me


I let James watch a movie while eating dinner. The movie went off and American Idol came on.

I told James "I'm going to turn off the tv now"

and James said "Yeah... it's not appropriate for me!"


Monday, March 30, 2009

Ok... I should NOT be allowed to watch infomercials....

I totally want this now


But not for $120.... even if it DOES come with a juicer....

well... maybe if it comes with a juicer.....

NO!! Not even then!! TURN OFF THE TV WOMAN!!

But it's sooooooo coool

Must. Turn. off. the. TV. NOW!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Your calendar is a little off Buddy!

James just came running into my room yelling "It's Christmas!! It's Christmas!!"

Me: "What??"

James: "It's Christmas!! It's Christmas!! LOOK!!" points and then drags me over to the window.

The storm system finally caught up with us and it was snowing.

Poor Buddy was a tad disappointed.

Friday, March 27, 2009

I think I may have a prodigy on my hands.

James was helping me make dinner tonight. We had assembled everything for the Spanish Chicken & Rice Bake (except putting the chicken on the top) when I heard the Woot-off Wootalyzer go off.... so all the ingredients were abandoned on the counter in my quest for the ever-elusive BOC (for those of you who don't know what this is, you are missing out.... for all of you who DO, you know just how important it is!! ).

While I was busy with the F5 and the BOC, James was "cooking" in the kitchen (in direct line of sight... don't freak on me here). By the time I slunk from my computer, defeated and BOC-less, James had created a bowl full of what looked to be nothing more than salsa and maggot soup.... with a dollop of butter for good measure.

"Can you make it with dinner?" my budding Emeril says to me.

"Suuuuuuuuuure, buddy.... um... it might not come out, just so you know" (there was a LOT of salsa and water)


I poured it into an small oven safe dish, stirred in some extra rice, and covered it with foil. I then said a little prayer over it and slid it in the oven next to dinner.

45 minutes later, I pulled it out, took off the foil and fluffed what turned out to be almost perfect spanish rice! Color me shocked! Both of us had a serving with dinner and James proudly proclaimed "I made it my OWN self" and "I made my own recipe! and it was better than Mommy's!"

Gee thanks kid.

James's "I Can't Believe He Made It By Himself" Spanish Rice Recipe

some white rice in a bowl
a cup of water
1/3 jar of salsa
a few kernels of corn

Stir and give to Mommy
Sneak in a little extra rice, put in an oven safe dish and cover with foil
bake at 375 for 45 mins

My 4 yr old is a better cook than most 20-somethings I know! lol


How stinking cute are these cakeballs on a stick?!?


It makes me want to run out and make a bunch of chick cakeballs!!



I'm over it now.

But they are still stinkin cute!

Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man

James was totally stylin' today. He had his new shoes on, khaki cords and a super cute stiped polo shirt.... yeah... MUCH nicer than the usual t-shirt and jeans with the worn knees, lol.

So I go to pick him up at school and find him tucked away in the science center, where he was not alone. He was surrounded by EIGHT girls, and they were all just having the time of their lives! lol One of the dad's quipped "Nice Harem" as he walked by.

I just can't *wait* until he's a teenager! ~insert eyeroll here~

eta: although, he *did* start out the day in Mommy's headband.... so maybe he's caught "the gay" and was giving the girls fashion tips! lol

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Big News, Big News!

Though NOT as big as we thought it was!

We got a call a week ago last Thursday that our family was going to be PCSed to Fort Bliss, Texas, where Hubby would join a BCT (Brigade Combat Team) attached to a Cavalry Regiment and then be Deployed to Iraq. For those of you that don't know, Fort Bliss is in the VERY west corner of Texas, RIGHT across the Mexican border from Juarez, Mexico... you know.... the place where all those drug wars are going on and the Mexican Military has taken over for the local police?? Yeah... there....

The report date they gave us was June 10th, which means if Hubby wanted to take leave, we would have to be packed up and moving the FIRST WEEK IN MAY! Basically, we would be uprooted to a place that we do not know, have no desire to be and have no support system within less than 11 hours and that Hubby would leave immediately after we got there for 15 months.

I have been freaking out for over a week! lol But I decided that I would put off worrying about it until a) after my trip (which was AWESOME!!), b) until we found out more info about the job that Hubby would have and c) Hubby talked to some people who had already been there and could tell us a little bit about what to expect for housing/schools/services ect.

We were also waiting to hear if Hubby got on the list to be promoted to E-7, and they were supposed to release that info on Friday, but didn't until today.

So Hubby, the King of Timing, called me during James's gymnastics class today to ask me if I would prefer him deploying out of Fort Bliss or Here!

Then my phone went dead!!

Once I re-established a connection with him (and my heart quit pounding), he told me that he'd been offered the chance to deploy with his unit, under a SGT Major that he knows and respects, and that James and I would be able to stay here, in our house and life, while he was gone. And then he asked what I thought. Eventhough it was killing me, I told him to take which ever job was better for his career... that we can handle short-term discomfort to help him achieve our long-term goals. Thankfully, the jobs are equally good for his career. I cried for 15 minutes in the middle of gymnastics class from sheer relief! lol


So we are STAYING HERE!! YAY!! <-------- NEVER thought I would be thankful for staying in Kansas. I have decided that this was God's way of telling me to quit complaining about Kansas and that it could be worse! lol So if anyone ever hears me complaining about being "stuck" here.... just say 2 words to me.... Fort Bliss, lol! Or Fort (Anywhere else but here would be considered) Bliss, as we like to call it! lol

So that's all the news/info I have for now. Oh... except that Hubby did NOT make the list for his 7. But I was so happy for the other news that this is just a small disappointment. I am certain that he will be up for his 7 in the future and that he will get it, so I consider this only a small set back, if it is a set back at all.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

It Sucks

Kmart sucks

Lane Bryant sucks

Walmart sucks

Pants suck

Shoes suck

My Fat sucks

Being Short sucks

Being Short and Fat sucks

Dressing my Short Fat REALLY sucks

Shopping to dress my Short FAT sucks

Attempting to look cute and trying to find shoes that won't kill my feet in 5 minutes for my weekend trip to California to have a meet-up with my imaginary friends sucks big time.


Monday, March 16, 2009


I just realized i've been walking around with my pants unzipped all morning.

And I'm wearing hot pink underwear.

Thank goodness it was 45 degrees this morning, which forced me to wear my long coat instead of the sweatshirt I'd laid out. I'm sure the people at James's school and the commissary are thankful too!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

This just heard from the kitchen....

"Shoo-ee! That's good playin!"

*sigh*... I'm raising a redneck.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Daylight Savings Time

can bite my big toe.

I think they should just move the clocks back 30 mins in November and say "That's it!! We're done!! Go forth and change no more!! "

That would be awesome.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Our first meeting with James's OT

Today we met with James's Occupational Therapist. For those of you who may not know/recall, James was in 5 day/week preschool at the beginning of the school year and his teacher thought he might have sensory issues. I thought that was a bunch of hooey, but she kept harping on it day in and day out, so I decided to have him tested through the school.

It turns out that it WAS a bunch of hooey (and thank goodness we got him out of that class that was just too much/old/overwhelming for him and back into the 3 day/week class that he is thriving in now), but James does have some fine motor skill issues with which he needs a bit of extra help.

His OT started the meeting by telling me what a joy it was to work with James! She found him to be very personable, sweet, intelligent, and just a fun, easy child with whom to work. She was impressed with the width and breadth of his vocabulary and his ability and willingness to express himself verbally. She also finds him to be above average in his pattern making and problem solving skills, and was amazed that he could draw 8 out of the 9 "marker" shapes (all of which are necessary for writing letters) that they use for testing children of his age! She said that he was very sociable with her and she enjoyed having conversations with him... "It's like talking to a little man!"

She did discuss with us her concerns over his hand dominance issue. The issue is that he shows no preference at all.... in fact, he shows an equal NON preference for either hand and a reluctance to cross his midline to grasp something. In other words, if James is sitting in front of a piece of paper on the table, you put a pencil on the right hand side of the paper and ask him to pick up the pencil, he will pick up the pencil with his right hand. Similarly, if you put the pencil on the left hand side of the paper, he will pick it up with his left hand. If you put the pencil in the exact middle of the paper, lining up with his body's midline, he will 50/50 pick it up with either the right or the left hand. If you ask him to draw a big cross on that paper, he will draw the down line with which ever hand he has the pencil in and then, instead of crossing his body and drawing a straight line R-L or L-R in one stroke, he will start on the outside of the paper on the side he is holding the pencil, draw to the midline, switch hands and finish the stroke to the outside.

So... while none of this has anything to do with the original reason James was tested (thank goodness.... I think that teacher is full of hooey and just isn't used to teaching *just* 4's, as the 5 day/wk is filled with mostly much older 4's, 5's and young 6's), I'm glad we had him tested, and that the OT has space to work with James, as I never even thought one way or the other about his hand dominance! I can see where this could lead to frustration in Kindy if it had never been caught, thereby possibly souring him towards school at an early age. *phew* Now, if I could only head off the OTHER 436,784,965 reason he may come up with to hate school in the next 20 yrs or so, we might be getting somewhere!! lol

The OT will be coming to his school and pulling him out of class on Fridays for a 1/2 hour to work with her. This is nice because he is already comfortable at school (his *turf* so to speak) which will make less likely that he will be distracted by new surroundings and more able to focus on what he's being taught. The OT is very confident that we will be able to sort out James's hand dominance issues by early fall, even without her working with him over the summer (they only offer the services through the school during the school year... and she sees no reason for "special" work over the summer).

All in all, it was a very good meeting and we left it with a feeling of (not-excessive, imho) parental pride and not a little relief! It is always gratifying to have people affirm you opinions (high though they may be) of your own child, kwim?

It was a very good meeting. :)

Chapter 34: Prince James and the Tummyache

"Where are chapters 1-33?" You ask. Well... Prince James came about when *my* little prince was about a yr and a half old. Sometimes stories from books just wouldn't do when James was seriously distressed or overtired and the only way I could get him to calm down/go to bed was to tell him stories about Prince James, Queen Mommy and King Daddy. I always thought I should write them down, but it never seemed to happen. Tonight was the first night I've had to make one up since I started my blog, so I thought "Gee... I need to get this down before I forget it!!" These stories were made up on the fly, so don't start reading it expecting Dickensonian prose, mmmmmmkay? I settled on the arbitrary # of 34, because it felt right, but I have no actual knowledge of the number of stories that have come before... I hope that won't ruin the story for you, lol!

And so we shall begin.....

Prince James and the Tummyache

Once upon a time, in a far away land called Noplacelikehomatopialand (hey give me a break... I TOLD YOU these were made up on the fly!) , lived a wonderful young prince named Prince James. He lived in a fantastic castle along with his family, King Daddy, Queen Mommy and Sir Ichtheius Browntail. Prince James loved his home and everyone in it. He loved the gardens where he would play in the summer. He love the stables that housed all the ponies a little prince could ride. He loved the big, clear swimming pond where he spent most of his summer days. He loved the kitchen with all it's warmth and smells.... not to mention all the yummy food he and Queen Mommy would make whenever they wanted.

But most of all, Prince James love his bedroom.

Prince James's bedroom was the most fantastic place in the whole castle! It was lined floor to ceiling with bookcases and toy cupboards. When all the doors to all the bookcases and toy cupboards were closed, the most wonderful of murals was revealed. Even before playing with a single toy, if one stopped long enough, one could get caught for hours gazing at the mystical creatures, revealed one by one behind rocks, trees and in ponds only upon close examination. Prince James had spend many an hour flying with the fairies and conversing with the unicorns after stepping into that mural.

And the toys! Oh my... there had never been such toys!! All made by the local craftsmen and women specifically for Prince James! There were trains and trucks and dinosaurs that made real roaring noises, even a dancing toy mouse that played music! Every toy a young prince's heart could ever desire. Prince James loved his toys and his books and always made sure to take very good care of them, because he wanted to make sure that the people who made them knew he appreciated them. (I never said I was above sticking a moral lesson or 2 into these stories!!)

And at the end of the day, when all the ponies were rode, all the swimming swum, all the smells smelled, all the food eaten, enemies vanquished and fantasies explored, it was time for Prince James to go to bed.

And THAT my friends, was almost as lovely as the whole day put together, for Prince James had, dare I say it?? The most wonderful of beds! It was so big and so tall that Prince James needed a stool just to get in it! The head of the bed sported 3 of the biggest, lightest, fluffiest pillows that had ever been seen. Queen Mommy herself had bargained with the birds to fly up in the sky and fill her pillowcases with clouds (white ones only.... no storm clouds please.... Queen Mommy had had enough of wet beds when potty training Prince James, thankyouverymuch!) The sheets were smooth and crisp and printed with train designs, that, just in the 3 seconds before the person who was lying on them fell asleep, could be seen to move along their printed rails, across sateen countryside. If Prince James listened really hard, just as he was going to sleep, he could just hear the clickety-clack! of the the wheels and the whooooooo-whooooooo of the whistle. He'd been known to hop those trains right into dreamland and stay there all night long! The blankets on his bed were crocheted out of gossamer strands of love, by Dowager Queen Mum Great-Grandma Rose, herself. These types of blankets are the most valued of all as they create a warm, safe cocoon where only the sweetest dreams can be dreamt.

So it was on a night like any other, that Prince James brushed his teeth, listened to stories, kissed Queen Mommy and King Daddy and drifted off to sleep in this slumberiest of shrines. All was quiet in the palace as it denizens were winding down for the night. When suddenly, from the fabulous nursery, came a piercing cry! Queen Mommy, recognizing the cry, rushed up the stairs and straight into Prince James's room.

"Whatever is the matter, sweetheart?" said the Queen.

Prince James could only cry.

"Did you have a bad dream?" asked the queen (though, honestly, she could not imagine such a thing ever happening in such a fantastic bed)

Prince James just shook his head and kept crying.

"Did you bump your head?"

Prince James shook his head again and kept crying.

"Lose your favorite stuffed animal?"

Just a head shake and more tears.

"Do you have a tummy ache?" asked Queen Mommy, who by this time was quite near tears herself.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssss!" wailed Prince James

"Oh, honey! Do you want me to rub your tummy?"

A watery sniff and a little nod later found Queen Mommy ensconced on the bed beside Prince James.

"I'm so sorry your tummy hurts sweetie, what did you have to eat tonight?" Queen Mommy knew what Prince James had for dinner... but sometimes he and King Daddy went down to the royal kitchens for a bedtime snack, and sometimes.... when he was being naughty, Prince James would go get a snack without asking first.

"ummmmmmmmm..... I had green apples.... and bananas.... and a hamburger.... and candy... and soda (at this point the real James piped up "Kids aren't SUPPOSED to drink soda Mommy!! Shhhhhh that's why it's a story buddy! Sometimes people in stories don't do what they ought! Oh, Ok) ... and cookies... and popsicles... and spaghetti... and chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup and sprinkles. Then a bologna sandwich.... some cherries... a hotdog with mustard... some tomato soup... a cup or orange juice.. and...."

"Okay buddy!! That's enough! lol" interrupted Queen Mommy "you are making me sick just thinking about it!! No WONDER you have a tummy ache! How did you fit ALL that food in such a little tummy?!?"

Prince James thought about it for a moment and said "I don't know!"

Queen Mommy laughed and said "Well, let's try to not do that again, Ok?"

"Ok Queen Mommy! I love you"

"I love you too, Prince James."

And with that final declaration, Queen Mommy rose from the bed, retucked in all the blankets, dropped one last kiss on her son's forehead and quietly closed the door behind her as Prince James quickly drifted back off.

The end